text me...okay?

i read this article today on yahoo about a girl who's father took a hammer to her cell phone because of the phone bill.

can you believe this girl? their phone bill was over $4000!!!!

apparently she was texting her ass off during her classes.

her parents thought the feature had been disabled, so the father smashed her phone with a hammer.

a bit drastic, but okay.

oh, and they grounded her for the rest of the school year. like that's going to do her any good! the school year ends in, what, two months? oooh, thats, like, way harsh.

NOT.

they shouldve said "youre grounded until school starts in the fall. and by the way, youre going to get a summer job and all your paychecks are going to help us pay off this ginormous phone bill. one last thing: you want a cell phone? youll have to pay for it yourself." thatll teach her a lesson. a real lesson.

needless to say, this will never be happening to me. ive got The Company probably watchin' my ass from a frickin' sattelite in space. this is a paid gig, but theyre paying for my new life, too. i can just imagine what would happen if i racked up a phone bill like that.

pink slip.

and a boot mark on my apple-shaped butt.

ill take a medium cheese, please

i wish i wouldve been one of the lucky cincinnatians to get a free pizza from domino's.

betcha they're going to be more careful about their advertisements now, eh? 11,000 free pizzas.

wow.

i cant even imagine.

bulletproof hair

celise sent me this story today and i had laff my ass of, because, really, when does ever happen in real life? this really happened. no joke

HAIR WEAVE STOPS BULLET

KANSAS CITY, Mo. – A woman was complaining of a headache Thursday morning, but police say her tightly-woven hair weave kept it from being much worse.

Detectives say a bullet, allegedly fired at her by her ex-boyfriend, became lodged in her hair.

Authorities were called to the Country View Market, 5802 Swope Parkway, around 11:30 p.m. Wednesday.

Arriving officers found the 20-year-old woman there. She told police she had pulled into the market and saw a man with whom she had recently ended an eight-month relation with inside a car there.

A second man came up to the woman’s window and told her that the ex-boyfriend still loved her, an incident report filed by the Kansas City Police Department said.

The woman told the second man “I don’t love him.”

At that time, the victim told police she heard gunshots and saw her ex-boyfriend walking toward the back of her car firing a handgun.

The victim sped away in her vehicle as her back window shattered, police said.

She returned to the scene a moment later to witness both suspects leaving in their vehicle.

Officers found the bullet in the woman’s hair and said her tightly-woven weave likely saved her life.

The victim was not seriously harmed and refused treatment at the scene.

The ex-boyfriend and the second suspect were both taken into custody a short time later.

which begs the question: how thick was her weave? lol.

weighing in on mr. brown

first off, i would just like to say that i don't listen to r&b. i know who chris brown and rihanna are. ive heard their music and seen their videos. im not a fan of either artist.

but i want to add my two cents to the already two dollars ive been hearing about what went down.

i was reading about some of the comments of other celebs and the consensus seems to be the same: "i cant comment because i dont know what happened. but they're in our prayers"...blah, blah, blah.

i mean really, what can you say? the only two people that know what happened--and why--are chris and rihanna.

and now chris is saying he's sorry and saddened by what happened and he's seeking counseling from his mother, pastor, friends and family.

i can tell you what he needs to do, but let me say this first:

YOU. DO. NOT. HIT. A FEMALE. EVER.

no matter if there's a history of family violence and you vowed to never treat someone else like that.

no matter if she took your phone and threw it out the window of a moving car.

no matter if she got so pissed at you, she took all your belongings and chucked them out a window. or had a bonfire out in the backyard. or had a yard sale and sold everything for a dollar.

no matter if he--or she--was caught cheating and you decided to confront them.

YOU. DO. NOT. HIT. A FEMALE. EVER.

mr brown doesnt need to have a little convo with his mother or other loved ones. family and friends are too close to the sitch, too close to the abuser, and any advice/suggestions are going to be based on personal knowledge.

a little confessional time with the pastor may help, but The Big Dawg isnt the only person hes going to need to ask for forgiveness.

mr brown needs to get some professional help. thats what his mother, his friends, his family members and his pastor need to tell him. he obviously has some issues he needs to work out.

that was more like a buck fifty than two cents, but still...

spectator only

the Prompt O' The Day is brought to you by sunday scribblings : "sports."

in all my 16 yrs, ive never participated in sports. i was never really interested.

i was too busy trying to survive foster care hell. not gonna go there.

im a spectator during the olympics--both winter and summer. and that's about as good as it gets.

ok, wait...is kung-fu considered to be a sport?

it should be.

an activity that allows you to shout out "HI-YAH!" needs to be a sport.

why im not on myspace

saw this in the yahoo headlines today: Myspace removes 90,000 sex offenders from its site.

a) thats impressive. and not in a good way.

b) thats still impressive. in a good way.

c) whats to keep them from getting on again under an assumed name?

Informant U: Word #1

agent-in-place

a person who stays in his or her regular job but is actually in that job to get secret information and spy.

i can honestly say that i am an agent-in-place. At CSA.

no. she. di-int

o.m.g. people are a trip and a half sometimes. if i could hand out Stupid Citations to people, id be doing it every day at The Other Job. like last night? a lady asked me if she could get her shoes for a discount because her matching shoe, the one in her size, was on display.

say what?

i had to seriously hold my tongue. seriously. i didnt say anything for a good 15 seconds.

now, mind you, there’s nothing wrong with the shoe. there were no scratches, no teeth marks, no stinkiness.

it was just a display shoe.

we have to do this. we have to take one shoe from each box and put it on display. well, i knew it would never happen, but i had to ask the mgr anyway. the lady had the nerve to throw a hissy when we told her no.

are you kidding me?

bee-yotch, you better get the hell outta my store!

hello. my name is draven atreides (say it with me now, dray-ven uh-tray-deez. very good boys and girls). im 16-yrs-old. And im a spy. yeah, okay, not really. im an informant actually. i mean, i dont travel to exotic places, i dont wear disguises, i dont handle or carry weapons (unless you count my Canon AE1), and i dont work for a top secret agency. well, three out of four isnt bad. let me explain.

you see, i was abandoned by my biological parents as a baby and i’ve spent all my life in the foster care system. i graduated from high school at the age of 13 (Yay for homeschooling). At 15, i ended up with the Foster Couple From Hell (hereafter referred to as The FCFH). i discovered their dirty little secret–the bastards–so i ratted them out to the local authorities. so, lucky me, when i decided to play tattletale, an agency with three letters (hereafter referred to as The Company) had been investigating The FCFH for years. so, being the good citizen that i am, i decided to help them out. The Company, that is. i cashed in my Get Out of Hell Free card. three months later, i got a new name, a new life…and a paying gig as an informant for The Company.

i am the creation of YA author Celise Downs. im the Queen Bee of her series, Draven Atreides, Teenage FBI. Book One, A Royale Pain, will be out Oct 23rd. love it. buy it. will be talking it up even more when she gets the damn book cover designed. get on it, sista girl!

just so you dont get lost in the scuffle of my life, here’s a little sumpin’-sumpin’ to help you out:

Oh Wise Creator (aka “OWC”) - Celise Downs
Chief - protector
Irish - Chief’s wife
GQ - gay guy bf
Party Gurl (aka PG) - gurl bf
The Company - the agency I work for
The Job - the informant gig
The Other Job - cover job at a retail store
Informant University (aka Informer U) - snitch tips, tricks and words posted on fridays
CSA (aka Craycroft School of the Arts) - the school I go to

this will make sense once you read the book. i promise you.

sooooo, thats about it.

in the meantime, im gonna give you a peek into my life.

this should be a hoot