the Prompt O' the Day is brought to you by sunday scribblings: 'lost'
ok, so you pretty much know my history. if you didn't read the last prompt on the topic of trust, you can do so by checking out the post below.
i was in the foster care system for many, many years. yeah, i know im only 16, but being in the system can make you feel like 20 in dog years.
the last set of parents (not-so-fondly referred to as The FCFH) i got were a trip and a half.
to the point where i ratted them out the feds. cant tell you why, youll just have to read all about it on Oct 23rd. needless to say, they were involved in some illegal activities and The Company wanted to acquire my special skills (read: natural curiosity). i told them i would do it. on one condition.
they had to lose me.
take me off the grid.
erase my existence.
my condition was freedom. from the system. id like to think that my social worker got an ominous phone call where The Company said something like "Forget about O.C.* or else". she probably thinks i was wisked away into the witness protection program.
and i guess, in a way, it would seem like that. except im not running from anyone and no one wants to hunt me down and kill me.
far as i know.
no, i was given a new life, allowed to choose a new name, and picked Dry Heat, AZ as my new home. i did that for a reason, too, and ill tell you all about it my next post.
as far as im concerned, getting lost is the best thing that ever happened to me.
*These initials do not stand for Orange County, people, but represent the name I went by during my time with The FCFH.
Showing posts with label The FCFH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The FCFH. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
in me i trust
the Prompt O' the Day is brought you to by sunday scribblings: "trust".
i have no idea who my biological parents are. at this point, i dont care, because i had a great couple adopt me when i was a baby. and my life had been good up until age 7.
and then they were taken from me. "taken" as in killed. freeway pileup.
i got dropped back in the system and as you may or may not know--the older you are, the harder it is to be placed.
at 15, my case worker found a couple that actually wanted an older child. she thought it was a pretty sweet deal and for a minute--literally--i thought it was, too. until i had to change my first name. bad mistake, but that's neither here nor there. i was ready for a little bit more permanency so i sacrificed a little sumpin-sumpin'.
despite the life they tried to make for me in manhattan, they quickly became The FCFH (The Foster Couple From Hell). being given everything you want--excluding artificial love--can be a heady thing. they never treated me bad, mind you, but i guess i was there "trophy child." its pretty much the same concept as the trophy wife, just with a kid instead of an adult.
to make a long story real short, i discovered The FCFH were involved in something illegal, i took it to the authorities, who in turn tossed it to the feds, i did a little haggling...and now im in the desert with a new name, a new life, and a job as an informant for The Company.
ill mention a guy named Chief on here quite a bit. hes my handler, so to speak. hell look out for me until im 18, but hes not my legal guardian.
i trust that he will protect me--both figuratively and literally (if it comes to that).
but theres always going to be that tiny, closely guarded corner of my heart that says "the only person you can trust is yourself." i think its a prerequisite for foster kids or something. maybe i shouldnt limit that to foster care. that probably goes for any kid thats been let down, seen too much, been thru too much to even believe anymore.
i can freely admit that im a product of my environment.
year 7 was a craptacular year for me and its like my life went downhill after that.
nothing was ever as great and sometimes it feels like itll never be great again. my life now suits me just fine. its not great but it's good.
ive been in this new life for 6 months.
maybe ill reevaluate after being in it for a year. or so.
i have no idea who my biological parents are. at this point, i dont care, because i had a great couple adopt me when i was a baby. and my life had been good up until age 7.
and then they were taken from me. "taken" as in killed. freeway pileup.
i got dropped back in the system and as you may or may not know--the older you are, the harder it is to be placed.
at 15, my case worker found a couple that actually wanted an older child. she thought it was a pretty sweet deal and for a minute--literally--i thought it was, too. until i had to change my first name. bad mistake, but that's neither here nor there. i was ready for a little bit more permanency so i sacrificed a little sumpin-sumpin'.
despite the life they tried to make for me in manhattan, they quickly became The FCFH (The Foster Couple From Hell). being given everything you want--excluding artificial love--can be a heady thing. they never treated me bad, mind you, but i guess i was there "trophy child." its pretty much the same concept as the trophy wife, just with a kid instead of an adult.
to make a long story real short, i discovered The FCFH were involved in something illegal, i took it to the authorities, who in turn tossed it to the feds, i did a little haggling...and now im in the desert with a new name, a new life, and a job as an informant for The Company.
ill mention a guy named Chief on here quite a bit. hes my handler, so to speak. hell look out for me until im 18, but hes not my legal guardian.
i trust that he will protect me--both figuratively and literally (if it comes to that).
but theres always going to be that tiny, closely guarded corner of my heart that says "the only person you can trust is yourself." i think its a prerequisite for foster kids or something. maybe i shouldnt limit that to foster care. that probably goes for any kid thats been let down, seen too much, been thru too much to even believe anymore.
i can freely admit that im a product of my environment.
year 7 was a craptacular year for me and its like my life went downhill after that.
nothing was ever as great and sometimes it feels like itll never be great again. my life now suits me just fine. its not great but it's good.
ive been in this new life for 6 months.
maybe ill reevaluate after being in it for a year. or so.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
tag steal
i stole this from cate over at retrolifestyle. i like doing these. apparently, they're only supposed to be one word answers. and cate's right. there's no way in hell i can just put one word down. but i will. anything that needs to be further explained will have a star next to it and you can read the long version at the end.
Where is your mobile phone? backpack
Where is your significant other? neverland
Your hair colour? brown
Your mother? abby
Your father? john
Your favourite thing? tea
Your dream last night? dreamy
Your dream goal? agent*
The room you're in? mine
Your hobby? reading
Your fear? family**
Where do you want to be in 6 years? college
Where were you last night? home
What you're not? white***
One of your wish-list items? love
Where you grew up? apple valley, ohio****
The last thing you did? eat
What are you wearing? jeans
Your TV? 42"
Your pets? nonexistent
Your computer? laptop
Your mood? contemplative
Missing someone? always
Your car? bug
Something you're not wearing? shoes
Favourite shop? old navy
Your summer? adapting*****
Love someone? yes
Your favourite colour? purple
When is the last time you laughed? today
When is the last time you cried? 1******
*as in working for The Company. in an "we will claim your existence" capacity. possibly. but i also love photography and would like to try my hand at acting, too.
**im leery of the familial unit. being in too many foster homes can do that to a person. altho Chief and Irish are very, very, verrrrryyyyy slooooowly changing my mind about that.
***i know what you're thinking. "she looks white to me." even though it looks obvious in the black and white pic on here. and yes. if you ever meet me in person, i could pass for a white girl. but i'm not. im just light-skinned. three-shades-lighter-than-beyonce. john and abby asher, the couple who adopted me when i was baby, were an interracial couple. he was white, she was black. they told me my biological parents were black, but light-skinned. it's possible there could be some white in my history.
****john and abby had a farm, e-i-e-i-o. lol. just kidding. i consider apple valley my home, even though i was taken from there after they died. my most recent home was manhattan.
*****The Company gave me a year to adapt to my new life before giving me my first case.
******i meant 1 yr ago. when i knew for a fact that i was getting my new life.
Where is your mobile phone? backpack
Where is your significant other? neverland
Your hair colour? brown
Your mother? abby
Your father? john
Your favourite thing? tea
Your dream last night? dreamy
Your dream goal? agent*
The room you're in? mine
Your hobby? reading
Your fear? family**
Where do you want to be in 6 years? college
Where were you last night? home
What you're not? white***
One of your wish-list items? love
Where you grew up? apple valley, ohio****
The last thing you did? eat
What are you wearing? jeans
Your TV? 42"
Your pets? nonexistent
Your computer? laptop
Your mood? contemplative
Missing someone? always
Your car? bug
Something you're not wearing? shoes
Favourite shop? old navy
Your summer? adapting*****
Love someone? yes
Your favourite colour? purple
When is the last time you laughed? today
When is the last time you cried? 1******
*as in working for The Company. in an "we will claim your existence" capacity. possibly. but i also love photography and would like to try my hand at acting, too.
**im leery of the familial unit. being in too many foster homes can do that to a person. altho Chief and Irish are very, very, verrrrryyyyy slooooowly changing my mind about that.
***i know what you're thinking. "she looks white to me." even though it looks obvious in the black and white pic on here. and yes. if you ever meet me in person, i could pass for a white girl. but i'm not. im just light-skinned. three-shades-lighter-than-beyonce. john and abby asher, the couple who adopted me when i was baby, were an interracial couple. he was white, she was black. they told me my biological parents were black, but light-skinned. it's possible there could be some white in my history.
****john and abby had a farm, e-i-e-i-o. lol. just kidding. i consider apple valley my home, even though i was taken from there after they died. my most recent home was manhattan.
*****The Company gave me a year to adapt to my new life before giving me my first case.
******i meant 1 yr ago. when i knew for a fact that i was getting my new life.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Reflection
its been a while since ive written in a diary. june 14th 5:31pm 2003, to be exact. my life of late has definitely been diary-worthy, but i no longer trust writing my thoughts down in a book. books get lost. or left behind when you have to leave in a hurry. not that i really left in a hurry, mind you. there was a little planning, but enuff for me to know the meaning of the word "sacrifice." i left a lot of things behind: a purple, fur-lined suede coat. central park. The FCFH and their dirty little secret. oh yes, and my name.
i left behind my name for the second--and very last--time.
the day i left the nightmare of india chevalier's life in new york city and took a seat in the offices of Chief's agency in arizona.
this new life is nothing like the witness protection program, because, well, its not. this new life includes a very important job with a certain company that will deny my existence til their blue in the face. no matter how bad those bamboo shoots under the nails hurt.
i havent told Party Gurl or GQ about my old life. or my old one. i havent really planned on it and probably never will. well, i shouldnt say never. ive only known them a year and circumstances could change. i mean, its not like its my birthday or anything. i just kinda have to be careful what i say around them because, well, theres this one little thing--okay two--two little things that they--maybe three--yeah, three little things...sigh. okay, lets just say i have some privacy issues that im not at liberty to discuss. and Chief would probably kill me.
so, one case down. many more to go.
this year i resolve to catch more bad guys.
i left behind my name for the second--and very last--time.
the day i left the nightmare of india chevalier's life in new york city and took a seat in the offices of Chief's agency in arizona.
this new life is nothing like the witness protection program, because, well, its not. this new life includes a very important job with a certain company that will deny my existence til their blue in the face. no matter how bad those bamboo shoots under the nails hurt.
i havent told Party Gurl or GQ about my old life. or my old one. i havent really planned on it and probably never will. well, i shouldnt say never. ive only known them a year and circumstances could change. i mean, its not like its my birthday or anything. i just kinda have to be careful what i say around them because, well, theres this one little thing--okay two--two little things that they--maybe three--yeah, three little things...sigh. okay, lets just say i have some privacy issues that im not at liberty to discuss. and Chief would probably kill me.
so, one case down. many more to go.
this year i resolve to catch more bad guys.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
hello. my name is draven atreides (say it with me now, dray-ven uh-tray-deez. very good boys and girls). im 16-yrs-old. And im a spy. yeah, okay, not really. im an informant actually. i mean, i dont travel to exotic places, i dont wear disguises, i dont handle or carry weapons (unless you count my Canon AE1), and i dont work for a top secret agency. well, three out of four isnt bad. let me explain.
you see, i was abandoned by my biological parents as a baby and i’ve spent all my life in the foster care system. i graduated from high school at the age of 13 (Yay for homeschooling). At 15, i ended up with the Foster Couple From Hell (hereafter referred to as The FCFH). i discovered their dirty little secret–the bastards–so i ratted them out to the local authorities. so, lucky me, when i decided to play tattletale, an agency with three letters (hereafter referred to as The Company) had been investigating The FCFH for years. so, being the good citizen that i am, i decided to help them out. The Company, that is. i cashed in my Get Out of Hell Free card. three months later, i got a new name, a new life…and a paying gig as an informant for The Company.
i am the creation of YA author Celise Downs. im the Queen Bee of her series, Draven Atreides, Teenage FBI. Book One, A Royale Pain, will be out Oct 23rd. love it. buy it. will be talking it up even more when she gets the damn book cover designed. get on it, sista girl!
just so you dont get lost in the scuffle of my life, here’s a little sumpin’-sumpin’ to help you out:
Oh Wise Creator (aka “OWC”) - Celise Downs
Chief - protector
Irish - Chief’s wife
GQ - gay guy bf
Party Gurl (aka PG) - gurl bf
The Company - the agency I work for
The Job - the informant gig
The Other Job - cover job at a retail store
Informant University (aka Informer U) - snitch tips, tricks and words posted on fridays
CSA (aka Craycroft School of the Arts) - the school I go to
this will make sense once you read the book. i promise you.
sooooo, thats about it.
in the meantime, im gonna give you a peek into my life.
this should be a hoot
you see, i was abandoned by my biological parents as a baby and i’ve spent all my life in the foster care system. i graduated from high school at the age of 13 (Yay for homeschooling). At 15, i ended up with the Foster Couple From Hell (hereafter referred to as The FCFH). i discovered their dirty little secret–the bastards–so i ratted them out to the local authorities. so, lucky me, when i decided to play tattletale, an agency with three letters (hereafter referred to as The Company) had been investigating The FCFH for years. so, being the good citizen that i am, i decided to help them out. The Company, that is. i cashed in my Get Out of Hell Free card. three months later, i got a new name, a new life…and a paying gig as an informant for The Company.
i am the creation of YA author Celise Downs. im the Queen Bee of her series, Draven Atreides, Teenage FBI. Book One, A Royale Pain, will be out Oct 23rd. love it. buy it. will be talking it up even more when she gets the damn book cover designed. get on it, sista girl!
just so you dont get lost in the scuffle of my life, here’s a little sumpin’-sumpin’ to help you out:
Oh Wise Creator (aka “OWC”) - Celise Downs
Chief - protector
Irish - Chief’s wife
GQ - gay guy bf
Party Gurl (aka PG) - gurl bf
The Company - the agency I work for
The Job - the informant gig
The Other Job - cover job at a retail store
Informant University (aka Informer U) - snitch tips, tricks and words posted on fridays
CSA (aka Craycroft School of the Arts) - the school I go to
this will make sense once you read the book. i promise you.
sooooo, thats about it.
in the meantime, im gonna give you a peek into my life.
this should be a hoot
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