Informant U: Trick #4

fake jobs

sometimes snitches pretend to be law abiding workers and hold a certain job to help them steal information. in this case, my job is pretending to be a high school student when ive already graduated from high school. but i have to attend all the classes and do the homework, so im not pretending am i? and what about my job at charlotte russe? im workin’ my ass off at the place and have to pass out Stupid Citations. definitely not pretending there.

miss slackity-slacker

ive been busy with school. and work. both jobs, actually. oh, and when i logged in today, i found out that im being "followed". by this person. this is whats referred to as a "calling out". im calling you out so that "everyone" (read: The Company and Chief) knows im being "followed". just so you know.

they are watching.

and im watching YOU, missy.

like i said, im still getting the hang of the taser gun thingy, but i am SO aces with the lipstick mace. aces, i tell you.

so, what does it mean to be "followed"? am i adored? do you adore my words? my wit? my utter saracasity-ness? or is it like being virtually stalked? are you going to be reading everything i post the minute it gets posted?

that...could get scary. this is my circle, thats your circle. step outside your circle, my friend, and it could.get.ugly.

welcome to my world, becks. hope you stick around. should be some fun times.

so, celise talked about me today. go look. go feast your eyes on me, all pretty in my fabtastic movie star shades. hogging the spotlight in front of a castle.

oh.

its not a castle?

celise tells me its supposed to be a school. a school? that intimidating building is supposed to be a school?

note to self: do not piss off Oh Wise Creator or she will send me to an upscale sanitarium.

for truth. that place looks scary. im so glad CSA really doesn't look like that. and im glad its being redone. the cover, that is. not CSA. looking forward to seeing more of me, er, the new cover.

heh.

Informant U: Tip #2

have another job to fall back on

which is why i havent been posting more regularly. i work The Other Job at the mall twice a week. sometimes on weekends, too. its always important to have another job to fall back on when youre snitching. this gives you something to talk about with your friends. besides, your friends will probably have jobs too and you dont want to look like a complete idiot when theyre talking about their jobs and you dont have one.

no. she. di-int

o.m.g. people are a trip and a half sometimes. if i could hand out Stupid Citations to people, id be doing it every day at The Other Job. like last night? a lady asked me if she could get her shoes for a discount because her matching shoe, the one in her size, was on display.

say what?

i had to seriously hold my tongue. seriously. i didnt say anything for a good 15 seconds.

now, mind you, there’s nothing wrong with the shoe. there were no scratches, no teeth marks, no stinkiness.

it was just a display shoe.

we have to do this. we have to take one shoe from each box and put it on display. well, i knew it would never happen, but i had to ask the mgr anyway. the lady had the nerve to throw a hissy when we told her no.

are you kidding me?

bee-yotch, you better get the hell outta my store!

hello. my name is draven atreides (say it with me now, dray-ven uh-tray-deez. very good boys and girls). im 16-yrs-old. And im a spy. yeah, okay, not really. im an informant actually. i mean, i dont travel to exotic places, i dont wear disguises, i dont handle or carry weapons (unless you count my Canon AE1), and i dont work for a top secret agency. well, three out of four isnt bad. let me explain.

you see, i was abandoned by my biological parents as a baby and i’ve spent all my life in the foster care system. i graduated from high school at the age of 13 (Yay for homeschooling). At 15, i ended up with the Foster Couple From Hell (hereafter referred to as The FCFH). i discovered their dirty little secret–the bastards–so i ratted them out to the local authorities. so, lucky me, when i decided to play tattletale, an agency with three letters (hereafter referred to as The Company) had been investigating The FCFH for years. so, being the good citizen that i am, i decided to help them out. The Company, that is. i cashed in my Get Out of Hell Free card. three months later, i got a new name, a new life…and a paying gig as an informant for The Company.

i am the creation of YA author Celise Downs. im the Queen Bee of her series, Draven Atreides, Teenage FBI. Book One, A Royale Pain, will be out Oct 23rd. love it. buy it. will be talking it up even more when she gets the damn book cover designed. get on it, sista girl!

just so you dont get lost in the scuffle of my life, here’s a little sumpin’-sumpin’ to help you out:

Oh Wise Creator (aka “OWC”) - Celise Downs
Chief - protector
Irish - Chief’s wife
GQ - gay guy bf
Party Gurl (aka PG) - gurl bf
The Company - the agency I work for
The Job - the informant gig
The Other Job - cover job at a retail store
Informant University (aka Informer U) - snitch tips, tricks and words posted on fridays
CSA (aka Craycroft School of the Arts) - the school I go to

this will make sense once you read the book. i promise you.

sooooo, thats about it.

in the meantime, im gonna give you a peek into my life.

this should be a hoot